


Poor attention-span

by sour_apples



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Trans Dib Membrane, ZaDr, because I like writing it and none of you can stop me., because I said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sour_apples/pseuds/sour_apples
Summary: “-Anyways!” Zim clears his throat. He had probably been speaking before that and trying to get Dib’s attention, because he was pouting again. “That is beside the point! Zim thinks the kissing should commence now!” He practically shouts it, like a toddler about to have a temper-tantrum. Thank god his dad isn’t here- Dib probably couldn’t live through explaining this conversation to him later without combusting from embarrassment on top of the already existing frustration of Zim’s obvious alien-y-ness.“Well Dib thinks we should get back to the study-guide, otherwise ‘The Zim’ and ‘The Dib’ are both going to fail their math tests Thursday.” He smiles at his own joke, and grins even more when Zim groans and collapses dramatically over onto the table.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 142





	Poor attention-span

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, if you're here because of my she-ra fic,,, it's on the way I promise I just had this idea in my head and I couldn't focus on anything until I got it out.  
If you're not,, Hi :L

When Dib looks up from his AP calculus notebook, Zim sits across with a blank look on his face. When the small alien notices Dib looking back, he lazily bares his teeth in a flaccid grin that stretches the entire bottom half of his face. His nubby, over-rounded canines shine under the fluorescent lights of the Membrane-Family dining room lamp, and the lighting overall makes Zim himself looks somewhat tired. 

But it wasn’t the sneer or outright frown he usually gets from Zim. That counts as something.

Dib coughs after realizing he was looking for just a bit too long, even though he still looks at Zim after the fact. The grin retreats from Zim’s facial expressions, and he cocks his head in question. “What is it, Dib-Worm?”

“Nothing. Just thinking,” Dib responds, gesturing down to the notebook as if it wasn’t the object farthest away from his mind as of right now. He offers him a smile of his own in hopes that’s enough for Zim, although he can feel his own nerves behind it. At this Zim just blinks, eyelids coming together from left and right rather than up and down. Alien, gross, and just a hint of threatening, like Zim. But not much else. Just...calm. Calm and tired and not bothering Dib or distracting him from his task at hand. This was around the fifth time Dib had looked up from his studying to see the sight in one night, shocked each time despite the situation being something he had willingly put himself in. He shouldn’t be surprised. Like, at all. He  _ was _ the one who had invited the invader into his house.

It was around a week ago when he’d asked Zim to be a part of his up-and-coming study group. It had been a genuine offer ...at least when he sent out to everyone  _ but _ Zim. But, of course, no one in his class took interest. Most actually laughed or turned away in disgust, as per usual. Sara openly tore him down during their lunch period, and everyone else followed after. Even Gretchen and Melvin were quick to decline, rushing to say make excuses even though Dib knew the latter was failing all of his classes.

So, with what  _ massive _ success he had under his belt, Dib was going to give up on the idea. That was until Zim ran at him in the middle of the school hallway, pushing kids in front of him into lockers and pissed as ever. What Dib came to understand from his long-winded, hard-to-follow rant was that Zim had been eavesdropping on him when he gave out invites for the study group. That and Zim was damn-near offended the same kindness wasn’t offered to him. 

Not that he deserved an invite, but it did trigger a bit of guilt in the back of Dib’s head when he looked at Zim. Who actually looked...upset, kicking at a nonexistent dust bunny and pouting at the ground. It wasn’t something that should’ve tugged at his heart-strings, but Dib was a sucker that was easily strung along sometimes. He kind of did want to have Zim over for the study group. 

And when Dib thought about why he might truly want to invite Zim over, he replaced the line of thought with the benefits it could bring. He rationalized it: it could be a major win. This way he could keep a close eye on the little bug while also actually getting school-work done. Two birds with one stone, at least in theory. 

ZIm finally stopped throwing a tantrum when Dib reopened the offer. Then Zim had agreed to said study group, which Dib was half-expecting. Part of him thought Zim was only looking to repair his wounded pride(which was totally part of the situation, no doubt)and then reject him publicly and thoroughly to rub in the wound. But that wasn’t the case, and Dib relayed where and when the sessions would be happening(his house, after school) and Zim seemed pleased. After that he went on his way, saying something under his breath about passing biology being vital in order to manipulate human life itself. It was an empty-threat. Probably.

But insofar, the few three or so times they’d done it, Zim had always gotten rather bored halfway through. It’d start with him tapping his fingers on the table and rereading the same few words over and over, and then he’d find a way to get himself distracted and things would derail until Dib had to stop him from doing stupid. Stupid like ‘bother Gaz with her new game’ stupid. After, when Dib had finished all of his work, Zim would sneak over his shoulder and copy down what he wrote. Thought he was being stealthy about it too. But really Dib had caved and slid his notes into Zim’s line of sight each time, knowing that he would have thrown a fit or tried to fight him if he had explicitly offered help.

But now, he seemed rather content in doing nothing. No squirming, no asking for snacks, no calling Gir on his phone, and no random audio ticks either like Zim’s annoyed chirps and clicks. He was just ...staring, seemingly lost in thought.

Like this, Dib could hear his own breathing. And Zim and Gaz’s, and the crickets outside, and the electronic hum of the house all around them. It was nice, in a way. Sitting quietly with Zim, not fighting each other tooth and nail. Enjoying the peace around him even if it was because he was forcing himself to be a good student. 

But there had to be a catch, there always was with the little irken.

“Kiss Zim.” 

Dib splutters across the table, knocking over multiple of his own textbooks and his empty styrofoam coffee cup. Gaz doesn’t even look up, but she growls out a warning.    
Zim looks at her for a moment, then proceeds to stare at Dib undeterred. 

“What’d you say?” Dib rubs at his ears like he’s cleaning them out, and looks back up.

“I’d like for you to kiss Zim.”

“Uh.” His ears and his face feel warm, and Dib regrets asking for clarification. He still presses on though. He was getting tired of staring at complex imaginary numbers, anyways. Dib rubs at his temple. “Why?”

“The almighty Zim has not experienced the human ‘kiss’,” He states it simply like that explains everything and presses his claws together in a vaguely kiss-like gesture. It’s probably hard to replicate the mimic with just the three fingers. 

“I thought you said humans are gross,” Dib gives him a moment to comment, but Zim just nods his head. It takes everything in Dib not to roll his eyes- he doesn’t want to spark a fight when he’s actually having a conversation with Zim. “What’s got you so curious now, space-boy?” 

“It is a part of your culture, Dib-Worm. I have yet to understand the purpose, or it’s benefits. How am I supposed to subjugate your kind if I cannot know your most filthy and trivial or rituals?” Zim seems disgusted by his own words and cringes at Dib across the table, and something about that is incredibly funny-

Dib pictures Zim setting up a kissing both for the express purpose of world-domination, standing tall on a pile of phone-books yelling nonsense at the people who pass, or threatening them into kissing him ‘or else.’ The thought makes Dib snort.

“What? What is it?” 

“Do you know what a kiss even is, dude?” 

“Yes. I’ve seen them on Gir’s television shows,” Zim says incredibly matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s incredibly disturbing. No one on Irk has ever made such a grotesque display of lip to lip contact.” 

“Then why’re you asking me t-,”    
“SILENCE!” Zim shouts, pounding a fist onto the table and pointing a finger at Dib. Again, Gaz grunts at them, this time actually raising her head. She doesn’t even open her eyes but the death-glare is still laden in her gaze. Zim smiles awkwardly and Gaz stares until he removes his fists from the table. As soon as she looks away he snaps his attention right back onto Dib. “Do not question me! Not that you have any business knowing, but if kissing turns out to be as destructive as it is shown to be on the televisions then I must use it to my own advantage!” 

Dib actually blanks at that. As destructive as it was shown to be...? Was Zim talking about those really cheesy scenes in romcoms? Like, the ones where people are literally kissed speechless? Dib had only ever kissed one girl in his lifetime,(it was on accident. He was nine years old on a dodgeball field, and he lost a tooth that day. Dib shudders at the memory)but he felt like he had enough authority on the matter to say it  _ most likely  _ didn’t work like that. Like, props to him if Zim was actually able to find a way to make kissing a mass weapon of destruction, but also no- no props to Zim on anything ever on the account of Zim being his alien nemesis hellbent on destroying him. 

“I don’t think you get what you’re asking me, space-boy. Kissing is...usually reserved for people in relationships.” Dib’s eyeline trails down to Zim’s mouth which is drawn in a slight pout, where his teeth poke out over his lower lip. It’s kind of cute, Dib thinks absent-mindedly. It isn’t that bad of an idea, is it? To kiss Zim? He can turn it into a mission. Explore his mouth in the most innocent way possible. Take notes on his weird alien anatomy! For science! And…. research! God, even in his own head Dib doesn’t buy it.    
“Well, then it is no problem. We share a relationship.”   
“WHAT.” The implication makes Dib burn anew, face more flushed than before and he wonders fervently why on Earth that implication would make him so flustered. 

“Do not act so surprised! Not even a lowly life form such as yourself wouldn’t understand something so simple. I am in relation to you as a foe of sorts, shared mutually by a bond of hatred and rivalry,” Zim grins. 

“Oh. Jesus. I meant like boyfriend and girlfriend, Zim. Or I guess in this case it would be boyfriend and boyfriend, huh?” Something about Dib’s voice comes out soft. He’s not whispering or anything, he just sounds quieter than normal even though he’s speaking at his regular volume. Dib brushes it off as just being tired from studying for so long. 

“If you have hangups over those trivial labels then Zim will replace his with something more feminine.” 

“Wait okay now I’m lost-,”

“You and your human ‘gin dirt.’ I will never understand.”

“Do you mean gender?” At that Gaz lets out one loud, dry, singular “HA” before she goes back to her game. Dib almost feels inclined to correct Zim and say he has no problem kissing dudes. He’s actually more than happy to kiss dudes, just probably not Zim. Actually, maybe Zim? Let’s just say he’s not averse to kissing Zim. Because he’s bi! 

But Dib doesn’t correct him because that mini coming-out would complicate things. Not with Zim. He, in an oddly comforting way, is far beyond caring about things like that, so he’s not the issue. But Gaz is sitting right there with them, and if he said that out loud it would be coming out to her too. He knows she wouldn’t judge, she’d probably get him a button with the pride flag on it to put on his jacket. But she’d also probably tell dad- and trying to pin down  _ his _ reaction to that sort of thing was nauseating.    
That and he’d had enough coming out to either of them after having to ask Membrane if he could legally change his name and start wearing binders. It was just a lot of talking, and it was emotionally exhausting in a way that other conversation topics weren’t. He was getting distracted again.

“Yes, whatever. Anyways!” Zim clears his throat. He had probably been speaking before that and trying to get Dib’s attention, because he was pouting again. “That is beside the point! Zim thinks the kissing should commence now!” He practically shouts it, like a toddler about to have a temper-tantrum. Thank god his dad isn’t here- Dib probably couldn’t live through explaining this conversation to him later without combusting from embarrassment on top of the already existing frustration of Zim’s obvious alien-y-ness.    
“Well Dib thinks we should get back to the study-guide, otherwise ‘The Zim’ and ‘The Dib’ are both going to fail their math tests Thursday.” He smiles at his own joke, and grins even more when Zim groans and collapses dramatically over onto the table-although carefully, so as not to invoke Gaz’s wrath. “Dude, if it’s really that serious why don’t you ask Keef. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” 

Zim shoots up from the table in record time, and fumbles over his own mouth. At the end of a bunch of surprised hoots and hollers he settles with a disgusted sounding, “Keef?!” 

“Yeah. What’s wrong with Keef?” 

“What’s wrong with Keef?” Zim mimics, and then he pretends to gag. It’s incredibly rude and mocking, and Dib almost feels bad for Keef until he remembers how creepy Keef gets with Zim. If Gretchen expressed her crush like that on Dib he probably would’ve been revolted too, so he doesn’t try to lecture him. “Keef is crawling with germs, Dib. And If I let him near any vicinity ever again he’s going to assume that means I want to be his friend again. Or worse, boyfriend. No- I think only you will do.” 

If there’s something Zim’s trying to hint at they aren’t going to get very far since Dib’s heart is doing all it can to shove his more nuanced feelings regarding Zim deep down into a place where he won’t process it. But still, he feels like he keeps asking dumb questions, yet his curiosity gets the better of him more than his embarrassment can stun him into silence. “Why?” 

“You have proven yourself to be the most competent and formidable human out of all the ones I have encountered, though that does not say much. Still, no one else on this filth-planet is at Zim’s level.” As harsh as it sounds, Dib can pick up on the compliment hidden in between Zim’s words. And although he knew this before, what had been an unspoken fact was confirmed and it still warms Dib to know that Zim respects him on that level, even if they’re enemies.

Dib’s not meant to pick up on the compliment though- but he must have smiled a little too noticeably because Zim adds in a scoff and a “you’ll have to do” for good measure. 

“Scoffing at the person you’ve so graciously asked to smooch isn’t going to help your case, asshat.” Dib hides his smile behind his hand. This conversation shouldn’t be fun, he should be focusing on his homework. But it is, and he can’t. 

“Smooch!? Who spoke of smooching? What is this smooching you speak of-,” Zim looks like he wants to jump on the table but he thinks better on it, and instead glares with an accusation in his eyes. 

“It’s a synonym for kissing, Zim. Didn’t do all your research?” Dib teases, looking down at his papers and notes like he’s actually making an effort to concentrate. Zim is flailing in front of him so hard it’s audible, and Dib lets out a laugh. 

Gaz stands up then, and starts walking off. She groans loudly and Dib has to talk over her so she can hear him.

“Gaz? Where are you going?” 

“My room,” She states bluntly, pausing by the doorway. In her hands she’s rapid-fire mashing buttons on her DS console, although the brash sound-effects coming off it suggest she’d doing worse than her cool exposed expression would suggest. She beats Dib to speaking before he can ask her for clarification, “With the way you disasters are flirting, you’re going to actually kiss. It was bad enough hearing you talk about it and I don’t wanna be here when it actually happens.”

Dib stutters so bad he doesn’t even make a word out before she slams the door on them, now totally and completely out of sight. Zim doesn’t seem to be faring any better, opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for water. 

“Gaz!” He shouts out, even though there’s no real point. If she heard him she was doing her best to ignore him, which was probably for the better. Dib flushed. Now that someone had actually pointed it out there was a weight on Dib’s back pressuring him to go through with kissing Zim. 

Dib thinks back to when he was 12 and hastily googled “do love-hate relationships exist” and “crush on alien possible?” and then about when the results said something he didn’t want to confirm he searched every other platform. Hell, he even asked on Yahoo. No one uses Yahoo except for maybe actual real-life aliens. He still got the same answers there, which frustrated him to the point he stopped messing around with Zim for a whole week and that just made it worse and the entire ordeal had been one silly-ass situation. 

Dib never really had to ask for outside conformation in the first place because if Dib was being honest with himself he understood what he felt. He just didn’t want to name it or place it because that would admit he did have feelings for a little green bastard from outer-space who didn’t know the first thing about human affection or ‘lurv” as Zim had called it. Dib sighs, and opens his mouth even though he knows nothing good is going to come of it. 

“You still want to do this, Zim?” His voice does the soft-thing again, where he almost sounds like he’s talking to a stray animal that could be scared off by the slightest movement. Zim looks the role too, seemingly shaken by Gaz’s comment. 

He's ...blushing? Maybe? The area around his cheeks is a darker green color than the rest of him, although that could just as easily be an angry flush. He groans a little in the back of his throat.

“Yes, but you must stop looking at me like that!”    
“Like what? I’m just looking at you.” Dib wonders if he’s actually making any expression- it feels like he’s just smiling, but Zim is wound up. It might be for no reason, but he seems to be tongue-tied in a way he wasn’t before. 

“No! You’re-!!!” Zim aggressively gestures at all of Dib’s face, growing a darker green by the minute. If Dib didn’t feel so tense right now he’d probably have it in him to laugh. “You’re cheating, awful worm-baby!!!” 

‘Cheating at what?’ Dib wants to argue, but he thinks that would just derail the situation into something less pleasant, so he doesn’t. Instead, he rolls his eyes and scoots his chair across the table so he’s sitting closer to Zim. The little space they had between them before is lesser now, but it’s not suffocating. It’s nice. Pleasant.

“Fine. You’re right, I’m the one being weird right now and totally doing something atrocious.”He takes off his glasses and places them down on the table-space in front of them. The action isn’t lost on Zim, who follows Dib’s movements with his head. 

“Exactly!” Zim beams at him, his smile confident and incredibly innocent despite him being almost entirely evil and rude and dumb and awfully cute. 

“Whatever. C’mere,” Dib leans forward and closes his eyes. That’s the only move he’s willing to make- Zim would have to fill up the rest of the initiative or else they’d leave it at that. Dib doesn’t know which option he’s more comfortable with, being left unkissed and rejected or being kissed and not knowing what to do with his disaster self afterwards. If he hadn’t already caught feelings, he’s sure this would’ve doomed him to the same fate he has now. Nerves run and jump through his hands, his palms feel sweatier than they had a second ago. “-Zim? Are y-.”

The front of his shirt is tugged more violently than anything Dib has felt from Zim before, and for a second Dib thinks he was lured into a trick again and that Zim’s going to punch him or something, but the hit never comes. After a few seconds of waiting, Dib gingerly opens his eyes gently to find Zim staring at him with a veiled expression, seemingly just admiring Dib rather than kissing him. Zim’s face is fuzzy in front of Dib, even when he’s this close, but he thinks there might even be a smile on Zim’s face. It phases out when Zim realizes that Dib opens his eyes though. 

“Jesus, Zim. Scared me, warn me next ti-,” Then there are lips on his and Dib is effectively shut up. 

Neither of them know how to do this, thank god. If Zim just straight up started to experdtly make out with him Dib would’ve freaked the fuck out. Can you even expertly make out with someone? Dib puts the thought away to focus on what’s in front of him, that being Zim. 

Even if they’re both kind of noobs at it, it’s not ...bad. It’s chaste and neither of them are moving very much, but Zim is warm to the touch and surprisingly soft. Dib had theorized irkens to be scaly or coarse, and he’d kind of expected Zim to be a little rougher with this sort of thing based on how he handled everything else. The opposite is a welcome trait though, because it makes putting a hand on Zim’s cheek all the nicer. Part of him wants to run a hand through Zim’s hair but it’d likely push his wig off and Zim would throw a fit over his antenna being exposed. The thought is kind of funny, and it makes him giggle just a little into Zim’s mouth, but other than that he doesn’t act on it. Not worth it, not when Zim’s hands make their way onto both of his arms and he holds him so softly that Dib thinks Zim might have asked for more reasons than just straight curiosity. 

He tastes like sweets. Not any real strong type of taste, just a hint of it. It made sense, considering it was the only thing Zim could actually eat. Dib wonders what Zim tastes in return, and the thought makes Dib cringe. It doesn’t take a lot to gross Zim out but if he managed to do that with a single kiss Dib’s pride wouldn’t recover.

But lucky for his pride, Zim protests when Dib leans back to move away. He even whines at him and tightening his grip on his wrist, just a little bit, so that if Dib wanted to he could still break away. But he doesn’t, it makes Dib smile even as he kisses and is kissed. He only breaks away when he needs to breathe, and Zim pulls away looking just fine. Zim’s wearing that same expression from right before they kissed, and Dib’s heart swells with something he doesn’t know how to name. He leans in and pressed a kiss to Zim’s cheek, but that doesn’t quell the feeling like he hoped. It felt more like adding water to a grease fire. 

“That about what you expected?” Dib asks, voice far away. 

“No.” Zim pushes Dib’s seat away a little, and Dib lets it happen. “....Better?” Zim’s contacts shine and his pupils laze around everywhere except Dib. He tries not to think about that too much, not when what he said was obviously a good thing. 

“We-,” Dib wants to talk more about it, but Zim looks overwhelmed, like he’s figuring out alien crush ordeals too. So he doesn’t. “We really need to finish this study guide.” 

Zim nods, but they sit close to each other for the rest of the night. And occasionally, when Zim gets off topic again, Dib leans over and kisses him, and miraculously he’s razor-sharp focused again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I like to imagine after this Zim just kisses Dib randomly, even when they’re in the middle of something. Like, Zim just punched Dib hard enough in the face to give him a nosebleed and he’s like “!!!! wait no!!! Did not mean to do that!!” and he just. Fucking kisses it better. And then Zim just fucking s c a t t e r s spider-like each time while Dib goes ????? Idk man I really love Zadr where they’re in love but dumb and are trying to figure it out.
> 
> no beta we die like men.  
shout at me on my tumblr hobie-brown or my insta ven_finn,,, or don't. I don't control you bro.


End file.
